Polyamory married and dating cancelled

Not that the operatic remorse, crocodile tear cheaters aren’t cold too, but the abandoning cheaters are polar-vortex-Lake-Michigan-in-February-ice-ice-baby COLD.

They will appear all nice and human-like until their cake situation is restored.

They anticipated that and took the path of least resistance — a cowardly exit.

But once that nice situation is blown to pieces by the truth…

Although the specifics of her story are very different from what happened to me, the feelings she described were enough to remind me of where I was four years ago this month. She has two men who want to marry her, but she can’t decide what to do.

She’s dated both of them, but the relationships have been very different. She saw things in him that she knew needed work — for both of them. There aren’t the highs and lows, but there also isn’t the magical connection.

In the spring and early summer of 2008, the first woman and I had talked a lot of marriage.

I’ve mentioned a bit of this story before, but I’m going to tell you a very intense part that I’ve never had reason to tell before. I was in love with the one I was dating at the time, but I was scared of some things I saw in her (and things I saw in myself, too, even if I wasn’t honest enough with myself at the time to see it that way).

One day you’re living in what you thought was a secure reality with this person, the next day they’re gone without explanation.

As someone who got operatic remorse, crocodile tears, and a stalking freakazoid who wouldn’t leave me alone, I want to be flippant and tell you guys you got the better end of the deal — the cheater who just left. Seriously, all you people who were abandoned, I want you to reframe this. They sensed your strength, and being the lazy, cheating fucks that they are, they needed an easier source of kibbles. I can see how you would take it as you didn’t mean anything to them. They knew that they couldn’t keep extracting value from you with the same ease.

She was very much in love with me, and she wanted to marry me. All that was left was breaking the news to the other woman — who had been hoping all along that I’d end up with her.

By early July, I had decided that was what I was going to do. On Saturday, July 5, 2008, I arranged to meet the second woman at a restaurant to talk, so I could break the news.

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