As a guy looking to meet Japanese girls who are looking to meet foreign guys though, your best bets are what are called “International Parties” and “Language Exchanges”.“International Parties” are parties organized specifically to bring foreigners and Japanese folk together and give everyone the opportunity to meet and interact in a safer environment than clubs or bars provide, and are much more relaxed events that are usually held on Friday or Saturday evenings, with some events earlier in the afternoon.Many of the organizers also run other kinds of seasonal events as well.Japanese are especially uncomfortable with really assertive styles of communication and easily feel bullied, so will often seem to be saying “yes” even when they mean no.You’ll commonly notice this with service staff who despite the rigidness of most Japanese systems rarely give you a hard “no” to any request.In general I’m always reluctant to recommend online dating to males (the statistical chances of success are usually terrible for males), however there’s a few Japan focused dating sites where the “interracial appeal” may balance the odds a little, and of course there’s Tinder app for some quick swipe action. “English Lessons.” Websites like Hello Sensei (etc) let you teach English by offering lessons under the table. About ⅔ of the men I “teach” English to don’t ask for a second lesson once they find out I’m married. As a result, a lot of times their communication can be unclear or vague.Two other friends started dating guys they met at English lessons. And in fact, this vagueness, or “aimai” in Japanese, is a well-studied trait in Japanese communication which is designed to be somewhat ambiguous to preserve the “wa” or harmony.Japan punts itself as being a very “homogenous” country.
Martin says: There’s a trick question I often tell my (dating) clients: Q: When do you know if a Japanese girl will go on a date with you? Men assume foreign women are more outgoing and direct (which sucks when you aren’t).
NB: In our experience Japanese guys are far less likely to flake on dates.
Japanese women tend to want to look, feel and be their best whenever they are on a date so expect cancellations when weather is bad or when she’s in a bad mood, or tired.
It’s ok to ask to hang out “as friends” knowing that y’all are more than “Just friends.”Approaching – use a lot of facial expressions and gestures, be animated – engagement without just language!
A really common mistake that most guys make when they communicate cross culturally is they think their subtle, razor sharp wit and wordplay will impress.