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" Give it a try, but don't be surprised if her reply is "First of all, it's ‘woman.' And now that we've got that settled, how does it feel to be the biggest a-hole in this room?

" I'm not saying some women won't go for these lines, but it's better to be original.

Certainly not in a college classroom, where women outnumber men by a ratio of close to three to two.

And not in the business world, where women are starting their own businesses all over the place. I myself don't know the mindset of women which is cool because neither do most women themselves but saying "hi" to a woman is um..saying hi to a woman. Woman for the most part are not interested in the "mysterious man" unless their is something they find mysterious to begin with and that rarely is the case.

No, the key to a young woman's heart today is to tell her that your biggest desire in life is to do everything you can to help her fulfill her dreams. "Hi" works if you know how to say it, as well as a computer can help you discover the cure for a disease or let you watch porn in the afternoons.

Your dream is to take care of your children, do the laundry, and, most of all, vacuum. It´s how you use the tools that make the great artist.

I still know these secrets, but they are of as much use to me now as E-Z Pass is to a man without a driver's license.

Still, I feel that is important for me to share with men less fortunate than I am what I did learn in those few, dare I say precious, years between the end of my first marriage and the beginning of my second - both to women much sought after.

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